1. © 2010 sarah bower. “suicide.” Marker on paper, 8.25 x 5 inches. monsters-and-molotovs.tumblr.com

    I drew this picture shortly after entering residential treatment for anorexia nervosa. After beginning to eat again, my depression worsened and my suicidal feelings returned. I drew this picture in an attempt to cope with those feelings in a healthy way, one that did not involve hurting myself.

     
  2. © 2010 sarah bower. “feeding time.” Marker on paper, 5 x 8.25 inches. monsters-and-molotovs.tumblr.com

    I drew this self-portrait shortly after entering residential treatment for anorexia nervosa. It depicts my feelings around meal times in treatment — the anxiety, the panic attacks, and the feeling of being watched.

     
  3. Here it is, friends: the first monsters & molotovs tattoo!

    A very lovely person sent me a message recently, asking for permission to get a tattoo of one of my eyebirds, the creature pictured above. How could I say no? I had just been saying a few days prior that I hoped someday, someone would get a tattoo of my art.

    The eyebird is a creature I created in 2009, when I was in the depths of my anorexia. It originally represented the feelings of being watched and judged, something that I was very conscious (or self-conscious) of at the time. However, over the years, it has come to represent my anorexia, the negative voice in my head, and my other demons.

    It is very inspiring to me that other people in recovery have been able to find meaning in my art and the things that I create. This has given me yet another reason to keep creating, which is beneficial for many reasons, among them that working on my art helps me to express myself and to stay in recovery.

    If you like the eyebird, you can also see it on my “face your demons” t-shirts (also pictured above). These are available for purchase on my etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/monstersandmolotovs

     
  4. © 2010 sarah bower. “weighted down.” Marker on paper, 5 x 8.25 inches. monsters-and-molotovs.tumblr.com

    I drew this picture shortly after entering residential treatment for anorexia nervosa. At the time, I felt very depressed and numb. The weights and locks depict how “weighted down” I felt, while the jail cell at the top of the head represents how trapped I felt by my eating disorder.

     
  5. © 2010 sarah bower. “tree me.” Marker on paper, 5 x 8.25 inches. monsters-and-molotovs.tumblr.com

    I drew this self-portrait in May of 2010, shortly after entering residential treatment for anorexia nervosa. I was severely depressed at the time; I felt that if I were a tree, the apples growing off of me would be rotten.

     
  6. © 2010 sarah bower. “Mechanical eating.” Marker on paper, 5 x 8.25 inches. monsters-and-molotovs.tumblr.com

    When I first entered treatment for anorexia nervosa in May of 2010, I was overwhelmed and had a hard time completing my meals. My treatment team encouraged me to practice “mechanical eating,” or to eat automatically and without any thought or emotion. The idea terrified me, so I made this drawing of myself as a robot, eating nuts and bolts and screws. My treatment team didn’t understand the emotion behind the drawing, and so they really liked it.

     
  7. © 2014 sarah bower. “Neurodiversity.” Marker and digital on paper, 24 x 19 inches. monsters-and-molotovs.tumblr.com

     
  8. human: you’re a monster

    human: it’s okay, i’m a monster too sometimes.

    monster: yay!

    c. 2009 by sarah bower. monsters-and-molotovs.tumblr.com

     
  9. c. 2009 by sarah bower. “you can’t escape by not eating” Collage and marker on paper. monsters-and-molotovs.tumblr.com

     
  10. © 2012 sarah bower. Marker on paper, 9 x 12 inches. monsters-and-molotovs.tumblr.com